


Amortentia Anonymous

by muffinsofdiscontent



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-02
Updated: 2015-11-02
Packaged: 2018-04-29 12:19:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,088
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5127368
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/muffinsofdiscontent/pseuds/muffinsofdiscontent
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Short little humor fic</p>
            </blockquote>





	Amortentia Anonymous

One-----

It had been one year exactly since the Amortentia Anonymous Magical Dating Services had generated the worst blind date in the history of any blind date ever. The evening had been awkward, unexpected, and occasionally vaguely hostile but it had also opened the door for an otherwise impossible romance to blossom.  
That blind date was Harry’s first foray into the dating scene after he had come out to his friends and family at a Weasley family weekly Sunday lunch. The announcement took even Harry by surprise since he hadn’t been planning to mention it at all unless he met someone. His years in the muggle world had left him more than a little wary about the reactions of the people he cared about once it was all out in the open. In the 3 years since their final year at Hogwarts Harry had spent a lot of time answering his own questions about himself and what he wanted to do now that he had no war looming to be concerned with.

That afternoon in The Burrow was a completely normal day. Bill and Fleur’s little daughter Victorie played happily in the living room with Arthur, a toddling Teddy Lupin marching from room to room with his hair Weasley red then blue and finally platinum blonde when Andromeda lifted him into her arms for a squeeze. Ron was filling a third plate of food and talking loudly with George and Bill about who would win the Quidditch World Cup this year. Harry sat quietly observing everyone, smiling fondly at the animated family around him, occasionally smirking at Hermione who sat directly across from him on Ron’s left. Molly spooned more beef stew into his bowl and voicing aloud her worry over how thin Harry looked.  
“Harry dear, you know I wouldn’t worry so much if you had a nice young lady looking after you. I know things didn’t work out with Ginny but honestly it’s been almost 3 years since then. Time to get back up on that horse! I hear Hermione has a lovely single coworker, isn’t that right Hermione?” Molly batted her eyes sweetly at Hermione who had suddenly taken up an avid interest in the napkin in her lap.  
“Er, well, yes. She was our year at Hogwarts, in a different house though. She broke off her engagement last summer and lately all she talks about is wanting to meet someone. But I don’t have any interest in playing matchmaker Molly, I only mentioned that she seemed restless. I thought maybe she could come along for a girls night with you, Fleur, Ginny and I.”  
Hermione was noticeably flustered by being neatly cornered like this to participate in Molly’s plan to pair off all single family members once and for all. She wasn’t the only one either. George was looking both surprised and on the verge of laughter as he noticed what was going on at the other end of the table and reveled in not being in the Perpetual Bachelor Hot seat as they had taken to calling Molly’s pestering. George and Charlie alternated turns in the Hot seat frequently, but since Charlie wasn’t able to visit much except on holidays and George had already had his turn earlier that morning, George was certainly enjoying watching Harry squirm a bit instead of him.  
Looking back on the outburst, Harry chalked the spontaneity up to the knowing little smile on George’s face entirely. It had been that slight smile at just the moment of Molly rounding on Ron about introducing his best friend to some nice girls from the Auror Office that had been Harry’s undoing. Harry picked up his water glass and inclined it to George, grinning when George saluted him with a salad fork as Molly was turning away from the table to head back for the desserts. Harry speared a roasted tomato on the end of his fork, twirling it between his fingers. “Molly, do you know of a good dating service for Wizards? I think you’re right about at least starting to date a bit. It would be nice to meet someone.” Harry said. When Molly turned back around the whole table had hushed and George looked as though he would murder Harry in his sleep for leaving him to be the only happily single family member and thus becoming the focus of all of Molly’s fussing.  
Molly looked beside herself with excitement. “Well of course dear of course! A very successful service advertises in the Prophet every week. They’ve got a 99% success rating! But why would you go through a singles service? Surely one of us could introduce you to a nice witch? Won’t you reconsider suggesting it to your coworker Hermione? For Harry?” Molly was doing her best pouty mother face and Hermione looked utterly mortified.  
“I don’t think Harry-“Hermione cleared her throat pointedly at Ron, trying to get him to intervene. Ron looked every bit as amused as George had earlier and Harry was trying very hard not to laugh. Oh without a doubt, spreading the discomfort around like this was far more amusing that placating Molly or making excuses yet again. Harry really did want to meet someone anyway. It was getting a bit lonely seeing everyone finding love, no matter how happy he was for them he always felt bittersweet towards holidays and weddings.  
“Oh lay off Mum. Hermione’s office friend isn’t someone Harry would want to date anyway. She was quite a piece of work in school. Still is honestly. I don’t blame Malfoy for breaking the engagement.” Ron said before polishing off his last sausage, chewing happily at Hermione even though she was looking like she might just hex him. Harry was surprised and a little interested in what exactly had happened that lead to Astoria Greengrass of all people being single but he brushed away irrelevant curiosity and went in for the conversational death blow, smiling at George brightly before turning to Molly who looked suddenly sheepish but undeterred.  
Harry cut her off just as she collected herself enough to answer or scold Ron. “Astoria Greengrass and Malfoy broke off their engagement you say?” Ron just nodded and Hermione was busy looking anywhere other than directly at Molly.  
“Well I wonder if Malfoy is living the single life now as well. Maybe I’ll owl him. Or actually I’d much prefer, Hermione, know any nice blokes I could take out?” Harry asked laughingly, finishing his roasted tomatoes and saluting George with the fork.  
He watched the reactions around the table with an amused satisfaction. Well there it was. In his mind Harry had planned the moment with overtones of romantic notion. Meeting a great guy, bringing him to meet his family and friends, skipping right over the actual coming out part by just letting his actions speak for him. The delusion was grand and silly compared to the reality of this moment but suddenly Harry wasn’t the least bit worried what anyone would think.  
George broke the silence first “I think Oliver Wood is single. Fancy running some drills with him for old time’s sake?” He wagged his eyebrows suggestively and the whole table burst into laughter. Molly had reappeared with dessert and was already brainstorming out loud to a reluctant but amused looking Hermione about owling a distant cousin who she was pretty sure had a son who was gay.  
So no change at all then, Harry thought, smiling as he pushed his chair away from the dinner table and took a sleeping Teddy from Andromeda’s arms offering to hold him while she had dessert. As the afternoon died down Harry was glad to be out of the spotlight and was enjoying holding his godson. Everyone was saying their goodbyes and heading towards the floo when Andromeda came to relieve Harry of the still sleeping toddler. “He’s grown so much Andromeda. I can hardly believe he’s 3 already.” Harry said, hefting Teddy into his grandmothers arms gently so as not to wake him. “Nothing makes a home feel quite so alive as a little one. He does keep me on my toes though.” Andromeda smiled adoringly at her sleeping grandson, the briefest flash of sadness crossing her features and Harry mirrored the expression. He knew they were both thinking of Remus and Tonks. As the sadness in Harry’s chest grew weightier, her dropped a kiss on Teddy’s temple and straightened up planning to thank Molly for lunch and say goodnight to everyone before he headed back to his flat. Andromeda stopped him with a hand on his elbow. “You know Harry….Draco spends quite a lot of time with Teddy and I. Im actually surprised the two of you have never run into one another at my house, youre both there so often. But I suppose that’s probably for the best, I know you didn’t get along in school and then well….my nephew made some poor choices. But actually, what you asked at lunch? About Draco being single?” Andromeda was chewing on her bottom lip seemingly unsure of what she wanted to say next.  
Harry raised his eyebrows and nodded, deciding to wait for Andromeda to continue before he would tell her he had been joking about owling Malfoy.  
“He is. Single that is. Draco is the one who broke off the arrangement, not Astoria. Stori was quite devastated by his reasons. You see, my nephew would also prefer to meet a nice bloke.” Andromeda finished hurriedly, blushing a little. “I’m certainly not suggesting you date each other, Merlin no! What a mess that would be, eh? But I thought perhaps you might owl each other? Put old grudges to bed and maybe even become friends. Draco doesn’t have many friends. So what with….everything you two have in common…and how you both care for Teddy and I so much. I only meant it would be nice to see the two of you getting along.” Andromeda pursed her lips into a thin line and reminded Harry strongly of both of her Black sisters and even a bit of the Amazing Bouncing Ferret himself.  
Harry had always thought Malfoy looked like a carbon copy of Lucius, but looking at the slightly haughty posture, high cheekbones, and blonde hair, Harry thought Malfoy probably looked much more like his mother’s side of the family if one paid close attention.  
“Ill keep that in mind Andromeda. Thanks for mentioning it.” Harry said and enfolded the older witch and his godson into a careful hug.  
Harry made the rounds, hugging everyone and good naturedly laughing when George winked and said “At least joke about asking me out Harry. I’m way better looking than Malfoy.”  
As everyone headed towards the floo, Hermione slipped a scrap of paper into Harry’s hand when she hugged him and whispered “This is the number of a dating service that’s much more open minded than the one in The Prophet. I took down the number from Ginny for Stori but I think its worth a shot for you! You need some fun in your life.”  
Ron clapped him on the shoulder before stepping into the already glowing flames with Hermione and Harry went through next, calling out the address of his small flat in Hogsmeade.

 

Two------

 

Harry had waited 4 days to actually call the dating service. He found it beyond odd that a Wizarding dating service had a telephone number but stranger things had happened. He was glad Hermione had taken him to get a mobile phone after graduation. Since Harry had planned to travel abroad and no longer kept an owl of his own Hermione suggested the mobile phones so they could all stay in touch. In addition to being great for quick communication, Harry and Hermione also got the rare opportunity to be more in the know than any of the Weaselys. The first time Ron’s phone rang he was in the loo. The vibration of his pocket and extremely loud ringing had startled him so much he had lobbed the little phone completely across the bathroom and broke it. Harry still laughed to himself at the mental image of a shell shocked Ron picking up pieces of his phone and glancing around before trying Repairo on it. The phone snapped back together like puzzle pieces but its internal gadgetry had been fried by having magic used on it. Hermione explained it to him later as being the same thing as a muggle device shorting out after an electrical power surge. Ron had stared at her like she was mental and repeated doggedly that he just didn’t think this muggle invention was quite up to par. Hermione rolled her eyes but took him to get a new one the next day anyway.  
The morning of the call to the dating service found Harry sitting on his apartment floor in just his pajama pants, a cold pop tart in one hand and his phone in the other. He was having second third and fourth thoughts about dating at all. Ever. Maybe he’d get cat instead, he thought as he struggled to punch in the numbers written in Hermione’s perfect scrawl. He had felt pretty confident after the easy acceptance of his surprise announcement last week, but now he felt…well like an adult wizard eating cold pop tarts on the floor and contemplating buying a cat rather than actual social interaction of a romantic sort. And he didn’t even like cats.  
He snorted and brushed pop tart crumbs off of his lap. Phone held tightly and firmly away from him like it was likely to bite, Harry steeled his nerves once more and dialed the number as fast as possible. An overly sugary witch answered after only two rings and it took all of Harry’s resolve not to hang up immediately.  
“Thank you for calling Amortentia Anonymous Magical Dating Services! Elizabeth speaking, ready to help you make a magical connection! Are you a currently enrolled in our services or listed with any other wizarding dating services?”  
She sounded efficient but somehow flighty. Harry wiped his clammy palms on the carpet, cradling the phone with his shoulder as he did so. “I’m not a current client anywhere. I was given the number by a friend who suggested your service would be more discreet and open minded than some of your competition and I was hoping to….well I don’t know really. How does this all work? Shall I set up an appointment with you? Do I need to pay in advance? Is there a way I can opt out of dates with cat owners?” Harry said nervously, cringing at the spew of questions.  
“Why don’t we start with your name, and a day and time that would work best for you then? You can meet with our director in person to fill out your membership papers, I think she can answer some questions for you and put you a little more at ease.” Elizabeth chuckled.  
“Do I need to give you my actual name or could we use an alias? No offense, it’s just that I’m still not decided and I wouldn’t want the press sniffing around me before I’ve even joined your service.”  
“An alias is fine for the first meeting, but once you join and fill out your membership profile your real name will be needed. And please, don’t worry about reporters in any dealings with our offices. The director has a close personal relationship with several of the more determined members of the press and assures all of our clients and official membership lists are 100% off limits to the general public and especially to the press. We cater to several witches and wizards who wouldn’t want it spread around that they were paying a dating service.”  
Harry thought Elizabeth sounded very confident in the confidentiality of this company but still responded “I understand. We can schedule the appointment with just my first name for now then. It’s Harry, and any weekday after 1pm will be fine. The sooner the better if possible.”

“Alright Harry. How does today at 4 work for you? Looks like the director had a cancelled meeting, so she is unexpectedly free this afternoon.”  
“Four is fine thanks. See you then.” Harry jabbed the button to disconnect the call and buried his face into the couch cushion, deciding he should have just gotten a cat after all. 

At fifteen till four that afternoon Harry stood in front of a nondescript building. It was definitely the correct address, he had double checked with Elizabeth before disapparating from his flat. But the place seemed so plain Harry would have assumed it was a personal residence and not a massively successful matchmaking company. His confusion and urge to flee redoubled upon walking through the front door.  
The standard office reception area was replaced with an almost nauseating display of happy couples who had met through the service. The couples in the magical collage kissed and danced, held smiling babies in front of them, or staged the moment of the proposal over and over again. The lighting was noticeably dim for an office and several of the lamps arranged around the waiting area had a red tinge to them making the whole room look like some sort of dating ad personified. Harry stood rooted to the spot and couldn’t decide whether he was more uncomfortable by the altar like success story display or by how much the wonky red lighting reminded him of Sibyl Trelawney’s stuffy classroom. Neither gave him the reassurance he was looking for to feel like he should go through with this, that was certain. But as he plunked down resignedly on a velvet covered pink chair he could only think that since he had come this far, the least he could do was meet with the director before he ran screaming to the nearest Magical Menagarie for that cat that was looking more and more appealing by the second.  
He snorted at the thought. Cats actually made him quite uncomfortable. Even going into someone elses home if they had cats made Harry want to wash his hands. He realized of course this was all his former neighbors fault; he had quite liked Ms. Figg but the lingering smell of cats put him off her company. But in all honesty he was lonely and even excited in an about-to-vomit-on-the-tacky-rug kind of way about putting himself out there and truly being himself. He wanted to meet someone, have someone to share things with. His two best friends were much more than just friends to him but there were still things he couldn’t say to them and on those occasions Harry felt very alone.  
A tinkling of many bells drew his attention as a familiar voice greeted him. “Hullo there Mr. Harry 4 o clock! You’re early! Good. Punctuality is quite sexy you know.” Elizabeth did not look like the Elizabeth in his imagination during their phone conversation. He had been expecting a witch close to his own age, likely American based on her accent. The actual Elizabeth was a witch closer to Molly’s age. She wore a bright blue sari that jingled as she moved because of the tiny bells sewn or more likely enchanted into the hem and every seam of the floaty fabric. Her grey hair fell in loose curls to her waist and her frame was tiny. She looked like a genie in a bottle from a muggle television show as she swayed to and fro in the hazy room bringing him a clipboard and offering him a drink. “Tea, coffee, bottled water, pop? Anything while you wait Harry?” She asked offhandedly, settling into an overstuffed purple armchair behind the desk. He shook his head at her offer and she began humming under her breathe and shuffling stacks of what looked like more pictures of couples. Her height put her directly under the altar of successful matches, and Harry was struck by the bizarre image of the office genie with a halo of PDA crowning her.  
Harry’s bemused daydreaming was interrupted by the loud slamming of a door somewhere down a hallway. He couldn’t see the end of the hallway with the poor lighting but his hearing was sharp enough to determine the general location of the door. He straightened up in his chair and craned his neck as much as politeness would allow to make out the wearer of the high heels that could be heard clicking closer to him from the end of the hall.  
“Merlin’s pants! Harry last-name-excluded Potter! If there was ever a bloke I had pegged for marrying his school sweetheart it was you. I can assume from your presence that there isn’t a little missus last-name-excluded now is there?” Pansy Parkinson was grinning from ear to ear as she rounded on him. Harry couldn’t help but stare at her for a moment. She looked almost nothing like the Pansy he remembered. The pug like features had all matured and settled and Pansy was quite an attractive woman now. Her chin was still a bit too pointed, her nose more button than simply squashed looking, and when she was looking so cheerful Harry noticed she had a very pleasant smile and a heart shaped mouth. Her hair was a little longer than she had worn it in school and she had it pulled back neatly at the nape of her neck. Over all Pansy had completely shed that sneering schoolgirl of the past and stepped into the shoes of a confident and even marginally polite professional.  
“Stop checking me out Potter, I have a strict rule against sleeping with clients. Although if you fancy a one off we could clear the desk before you officially sign the paperwork.” Pansy lifted one eyebrow and actually giggled. Elizabeth made a good show of moving back from her desk without stopping her picture sorting. Harry’s head swam as he felt his face heat up.  
“Calm down, I was just teasing you a little. Gods is your face red! Have I perchance sullied virgin ears Harry?” Pansy’s laughter died in her throat as Harry felt the blood drain out of his heated face and he glanced at the door, immersing himself in a brief fantasy of knocking Pansy out of the way and setting a new record for quickest deapparation ever and then later for stupidest way to splinch oneself.  
“Why don’t we continue this conversation in my office Harry? Youre already here after all.” Pansy looked a little abashed as led the way down the dark hall, but never glanced back to see if Harry had indeed followed her. He sighed and thought there was no way this could be any more uncomfortable and he might as well see this through. Harry felt like he was taking a literal flying leap as he stood and followed the clicking of Pansy’s heels down the long hall to her office. The door shut on its own as Harry entered the room and was yet again surprised. Expecting the same décor as the waiting area, he was thrown off by the polar opposite style of Pansy’s personal office. It was minimally furnished, with a very large very expensive looking desk that was strewn with heaps of paperwork and even a muggle laptop. There was only one other piece of furniture, a large and comfortable looking leather couch of soft black leather. She gestured for him to sit and immediately joined him on the sofa. He wondered when she had become so friendly and personable since their school days. He was bracing himself for a possible hug or some equally awkward form of physical contact when Pansy leaned forward and sighed as she waved her wand absentmindedly at the desk, summoning a bottle of firewhiskey and two glasses. The items landed smoothly between the two.  
“First I want to tell you two things on a personal level and then we can talk about your interest or lack thereof in employing my agency. Alright Potter?” Pansy’s tone was firm but her eyes and posture remained relaxed and open. Harry felt a little better just in her change of demeanor. He knew this Pansy a little better, he couldn’t deal at all with chummy Pansy.  
“Go ahead Parkinson. Could I maybe-“ Harry was reaching for the bottle and one of the glasses she had summoned, thinking it could calm his nerves while she said whatever she wanted to say so seriously. Another fantasy of just running back out of the building flashed through his mind but he dismissed it as Pansy pushed a full glass into his hand, tilting her own back in one go and pouring a second without missing a beat.  
Pansy licked her lips impatiently. “Alright look Potter the fact is the Pansy Parkinson you knew at Hogwarts doesn’t exist anymore. And the Pansy of the present would like to apologize for the awful little girl she used to be. I don’t expect you to understand the way I thought back then, fuck even I don’t understand that girl. But I was under a lot of pressure and had a lot of disgusting beliefs indoctrinated into my upbringing and that lead me down the wrong path. I am not the same person and if you presume for a moment to treat me like you would have treated that Pansy I will toss you out of this office on your ass and discretion be damned. Ive worked too long and too hard for what I have to lose even a single client based on mistakes I made as a schoolgirl. Can you handle that?” Pansy finished her second drink and looked pointedly at Harry over the rim.  
Harry finished off his own glass before answering “Are you really asking if there is an unusual or uncomfortable or downright batty situation that The Saviour of the Wizarding World cant deal with? Ever hold a conversation with Dumbledore for more than five minutes Parkinson? That man spoke in so many circles youd have thought he was making it up as he went along.” Harry couldn’t stop himself from answering her question with a question. When Pansy only continued to stare at him, bottle outstretched in invitation towards his empty glass, Harry decided they wouldn’t get any closer to the end of this conversation if he kept being a smartass. He nodded towards the glass and she poured him a second drink with a curious expression on her face. “For the sake of this meeting I think we can both agree that previous knowledge is fairly void. Youre a professional. Im seeking professional assistance. So here we are. Past Pansy Apology accepted.” Harry finished his drink in one go as well this time.  
Pansy was smiling at him again like the cat that caught the canary. “Thanks Harry. I appreciate your understanding. Now for the less comfortable part. I want you to know that there are some super sensory charms placed on the waiting area. They are usually used to avoid conflicts with any disgruntled clients and to weed out the potential clients who would cause trouble or pose a threat. Youd be shocked how many barmy old death eaters we get in here looking for love. But how this pertains to you and our future business relationship is that one of these charms is layered with a preference detecting spell. I hadn’t looked at your entry log when I was teasing you and I want you to know I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable with the virgin joke and also wanted to save you the discomfort of explaining that you are uninterested in meeting with any eligible witches.” Pansy shook the bottle a little bit as she finished speaking, offering him another drink if he might need it after hearing that.  
Harry accepted the drink but far from being shocked he had expected these types of spells. Its what any smart witch or wizard would do; the side with the most information is generally the side with the advantage. He was impressed with the skill level of her charms though, Harry had never even seen Hermione weave complicated charms together into an entirely new function like this. Pansy was much smarter than she would let on. Harry stored that realization away for possible future relevance and winked at her. His nerves had been roundly beaten into submission by the whiskey at this point.  
“That saves us both time then doesn’t it? Yes Pansy, Im here to see your selection of studs. Oh and in case it matters, Im not a virgin. Not particularly experienced, but not a virgin. Well actually I suppose for all intents and purposes I am one in this case. You see I’ve only recently come out. Ive never so much as made a pass at another bloke, forget about getting any action.”  
Pansy flashed him her victory grin again as she sent the bottle and empty glasses sailing back to her desk with a wave of her wand. “Harry darling I think you’ll find yourself with more studs than you know what to do with. Smart choice, hiring me to handle the excess for you. Lets get started then shall we?”  
The next hour was filled with exhaustively detailed questions, thick stacks of legal paperwork and membership details, and another round of firewhiskey. By the time Harry left his head was so foggy from drink and information overload that he caught himself waving cheerily at the wall of pictures on his way out the door. Pansy promised him his first match within the week, telling him to make himself pretty and wait for her call before Friday.  
A niggling remnant of sobriety told him he probably should have actually read his paperwork, but his excited and slightly drunk inner voice gave the nagging one a swift kick before returning to the important job of creating embarrassing fantasies about his mystery man.

 

 

Three------  
Friday arrived both too quickly and not fast enough for Harry. Pansy phoned him at lunch time on the day of to let him know they had gotten a match. The only minor hangup being that the best match had come from the anonymous profiles system. Pansy explained “Some of our clients prefer the excitement and mystery of a blind date so we base these first meetings on compatibility only from the provided client profiles. Even I don’t know who the other party is, I only know that they matched up with you on every criteria outlined by our system and I assure you it is an extensively detailed system.” She had instructed him to meet his date, if he was interested in continuing, at a small private restaurant near her offices at 7pm. When Harry had inquired about the very real possibility of the press sniffing around him Pansy had laughed loudly saying “Elizabeth’s family owns this particular eatery Harry. They’d never allow a member of the press to set foot in it. In fact they only do private business via pre-booking or through our agency and they do quite nicely I might add.”  
So Harry was standing outside the address given to him by Elizabeth, dressed in his nicest trousers and a dark green button down shirt. Hermione had suggested the color when she stopped by his flat that afternoon to help calm his nerves. She said the color really brought out his eyes. Ron had been fairly useless in the fashion advice department when asked. “Mate I dunno how long you’ve been bent for, I guess always right? But isn’t that supposed to come with some sort of built in fashion sense? Why would you want my advice when I can barely be trusted to leave the house with all my clothes on the proper direction?” Hermione rolled her eyes at him but snickered behind her hand as he left the room and she pointed to the tag on the back of his jumper; he had it on inside out.  
Harry checked his watch. 7 on the dot. Taking a deep breath he pushed open the door and walked into a small entry hall. A hostess stood at the end of the short hall, smiling warmly and holding a menu. “Good evening sir. Table for two yes?”  
Harry nodded, surprised she already knew he was there for an arranged date. But Pansy had told him she would call ahead to make arrangements for the evening to go as smoothly as possible, including placing herself discreetly in the establishment with a date of her own, both disguised, since she happened to have the night off and wanted to make sure his first date was a success. As the hostess led him into the spacious dining area, Harry’s heart hammered. This was it. The moment of truth. He glanced around at the few tables that had people seated already and was surprised at how busy the place seemed. Pansy wasn’t exaggerating when she said the place cleaned up tidily with private business only. Harry’s eyebrows shot into his hairline as he spotted a familiar face. Ginny Weasley, looking enthralled with her own date whose face surprised Harry even more. Blaise Zabini was smiling at whatever Ginny was saying, too quietly for Harry to overhear, with his hand over Ginny’s on the table. Harry wondered how long they had been seeing each other; and it seemed they must have also met through Pansy’s agency. Harry couldn’t help but grin thinking of the reactions of Ginny’s brothers when she finally brought the Slytherin home for Sunday dinner.  
Harry barely noticed that they had arrived at his own table. Seeing the second chair still empty, Harry’s nerves returned. What if the other person had backed out? He made up his mind to sit down anyway, wait 15 minutes and then run for it. Stood up on the first date, he figured that would be just his luck. Well actually, his luck would usually have been to get stood up and then almost killed in some manner. At least now he didn’t have to worry about Voldemort jumping out of a pudding and trying to do him in, he thought to himself chuckling involuntarily at the mental image of the dark lord covered in pudding. Or perhaps something more elaborate; sending out a cursed entrée that would transport him to a secret location the minute he touched the fork. The second plot would have to involve inside help. This thought of course elicited the image of Bellatrix in a chef’s hat, muttering to herself about mudbloods as she diced the cutlets. Harry actually snorted at that.  
It had been about ten minutes when the hostess returned, leading another party to a table and returning swiftly to lead in a single guest. Harry stiffened when he noticed she was getting closer to his table. The person behind her must be his date, he thought, swallowing hard and wiping his palms on his trousers under the table. He was so nervous that he couldn’t bring himself to watch their approach and only looked up when the hostess cleared her throat slightly and said “We hope you enjoy your dinner gentlemen, your server will be with you shortly.”  
Harry almost bolted on the spot. Standing awkwardly next to the table as the hostess hurried back to her post was an extremely shocked looking Draco Malfoy. Harry didn’t think he had ever seen the blonde look so unsettled and wondered if his own face mirrored the expression of shock on Malfoys. Mouth slightly open, pale eyebrows raised and knitted together, cheeks slightly pink. In spite of himself Harry couldn’t help noticing how attractive Malfoy looked. His platinum hair was a little longer than he had worn it in school and was no longer slicked back, a few strands falling into his eyes and looking very soft. Harry wondered what it felt like and resisted the immediate urge to slap himself for thinking he’d like to touch it. Dressed in black trousers and a dark grey jumper, Draco looked casually sexy. Harry felt his own cheeks heat up as he realized he was actually attracted to Malfoy. What was wrong with him?!  
Draco seemed to be sizing him up as well and while he still looked flabbergasted, he didn’t look altogether displeased with what he saw either. He sat down as if this were the most normal evening in the world. “Well Potter…..its been a while, yeah?” The casual drawl was familiar but the lack of hostility in it was not. Harry looked up in surprise to see Draco looking actually nervous. “So what do you do these days?” Draco eyed Harry expectantly and Harry was pointedly aware that he was trying very hard to initiate a polite conversation.  
Mentally shaking himself of his apprehension Harry thought to himself “In for a penny in for a pound” and lowered the menu he’d been half hiding behind nodding in Malfoy’s direction. “I’m not really doing anything at the moment. I took a bit of an extended vacation. Couldn’t decide what I wanted to do after Hogwarts.” Harry shrugged. He was unsure why he had been so unexpectedly candid but Malfoy didn’t look like he was planning to make fun. On the contrary he looked…..excited. Excited over a date with Harry Potter. Harry might have fallen off his chair. After feeling confident that Malfoy wasn’t planning some sort of joke or, Harry briefly worried, working with press, Harry relaxed and made up his mind to give the date a real chance at least. They were both adults and the past was in the past. If Harry was completely honest with himself, he had been interested in Malfoy since 6th year; around the time Harry began to notice his eyes following Draco at any opportunity and he became conscious of his attraction to the blonde Slytherin.  
The unlikely pair talked enjoyably over dinner and it became obvious fairly soon that each was interested in something more than just a nice conversation. It was over dessert when Draco leaned across the table and placed his hand gently but confidently over Harry’s. “I must admit, I was half expecting you to run for it the moment I sat down.” Draco said, smirking amusedly. “But I’m glad you didn’t. Do you want to do this again Potter?”  
Harry barely stopped himself from answering “Fuck yes I want to do this again.” And settled for “That sounds great. But I’d actually like to continue this night somewhere a little more private. Its still early-“ Harry’s invitation was cut off by the scraping of a chair being pulled up to the side of their table. Pansy had obvious glee all over her face as she looked back and forth between the two of them.  
“Even I would have never guessed my own system would match the pair of you up. Talk about impossible odds.” Pansy giggled behind her hand. “But I suppose the more I think about it, the more sense you two make. Always been after each other’s attention.” Before Pansy could say anything more to make either of them more uncomfortable, a large bloke who Harry could only assume was Pansy’s date had crossed the dining room to their table swiftly and pointedly.  
Theodore Knott looked so angry Harry drew his wand from his sleeve on reflex and noticed Draco’s demeanor change. The smirk on his face was taunting and close to a sneer, his eyes much colder. Harry was struck by how familiar the façade was having been on the other end of it for years. He felt a bit bad for Knott suddenly.  
“Draco, did you really divorce Stori so you could go shag Potter? Do you have any idea how much you hurt her?” Theo was speaking in a low voice but sounded ready to pounce at any moment. A hand on Theo’s shoulder suddenly appeared, drawing him back from the table as the owner of the hand took his place. “Let’s all do remember there are ladies present. And I don’t mean Pansy.” Came another familiarly bored voice. Blaise Zabini and Ginny stood next to the table now as well, Blaise appearing utterly disinterested but keeping his hand on Knott’s shoulder all the same. Ginny waved cheerily at Harry from where she stood next to Blaise.  
“Harry! I see you’ve brought a gorgeous Slytherin to dinner as well. Cunning and ambitious can be quite the traits under the sheets you know.” Ginny smiled wickedly. Blaise turned his head and clicked his tongue at her indelicacy but said nothing. “Oh don’t get those expensive pants in wad darling, Im lightening the mood.” Pansy stood up suddenly “I’ve had the best idea. We all have so much catching up to do, why don’t we continue this cozy chat in my place. Ginny dear, that dress is amazing on you by the way, I never knew you had such a nice arse.” Ginny laughed loudly and linked one arm with Pansy, to the utter astonishment of everyone at the table. “Thanks ever so much Pans. Why don’t we all leave together then?”  
Harry couldn’t get over how bizarre this evening was turning out to be. He was also having a rather hard time not staring at Draco’s ass as they all walked the short distance from the eatery to Pany’s office/home. Everyone was seated inside when Knott started up again, having only come along quietly instead of arguing in the restaurant because of Blaise’s subtle threat and Pansy’s overt one that Harry had heard whispered as the group headed towards the exit initially. “One more word before we get out of this establishment Knott and I will transfigure your testicles into furry pink dice and then lets see you try to pretend you’ve actually got a pair ever again.” The dangerously demure smile on Pansy’s face as she spoke caused the remaining color to drain out of Knott’s face and he had marched obediently down the sidewalk.  
Harry and Draco were seated on a pink loveseat, Ginny and Blaise were both pouring everyone a stiff drink and Pansy was hissing an explanation of what “gay” meant to Theo in a corner of the room. Knott looked like a scolded puppy. 

“If I had any idea at all how this evening was going to progress once you sat down across from me Malfoy, this possibility certainly never entered my mind.” Harry couldn’t help but be amused by their surroundings. Malfoy gave him a crooked little smile and Harry thought it was weirdly attractive. “There will still be a next time wont there?” Draco asked as he slid his palm over Harry’s knee. Taking advantage of the distraction of the other people in the room, Harry took a flying leap with his heart in his throat and closed the distance, kissing Malfoy full on his slightly pink unfairly sexy lips. Surprised by Harry’s boldness at first, Draco didn’t respond for half a beat but then he was kissing back, nipping and laving at Harry’s bottom lip and experimentally parting his lips to deepen the kiss.  
Pansy’s face was suddenly inches from the two. They broke apart, stammering embarrassedly at the unabashed grin on her face for the second time that night. “Salazar Pans, you ought to be required to wear a bell or something!” Draco exclaimed in an exasperated voice. “Oh please Draco. You two will have plenty of time to snog later. Do you shag on a first date Harry?” Pansy cocked her head in what could have passed for polite interest as Harry blushed fiercely. “Anyway, Ginny had the most wonderful idea. We’re all going to play a game Granger taught her in 5th year. Charades.” Draco was visibly uncomfortable and said “Oh no. No way. This is going to be just like the time you made me teach you to play chess so you could turn it into a drinking game isn’t it?” When nobody else seemed to object to this plan, Draco folded his arms and demanded a thorough explanation of the game first. The rules would be altered very simply; for every wrong guess the guessing team would have to take a shot. Rolling with the very weird flow of the night, everyone broke into teams of two, teams consisting of the couples in the room save for Pansy and Theo who were actually only friends who frequently got drunk together after a hard day at their respective jobs.  
Several rounds into the game after Ginny and Blaise had stumped everyone with their miming of garden degnoming and Pansy and Theo had failed to fool anyone with their awful impression of a popular wizarding novel series and it was Harry and Draco’s turn. Both had had a bit much to drink and Harry was feeling quite smug when he suggested their subject to Draco in a whisper. Since the rules said nothing about having to choose a wizarding topic, they had decided to go with a muggle one. Harry was impressed Draco knew what a velociraptor was but Draco had scoffed a bit and said “Ive probably read more muggle history books than you have Potter.”  
No successful guesses later and a dead on raptor posture from Draco and everyone in the room looked pretty pissed. Harry was red in the face trying not to laugh as he made claws with his arms and stood on one foot. Not as good as Draco’s pose but still pretty good. Pansy was so frustrated she called for an extra hint for the sake of everyone’s livers. Sound effects. Draco looked frantic as he looked all around the room and back at Harry, who shrugged. After all, what the hell sounds did velociraptors make anyway? He wasn’t left to wonder for long as Draco let out a strange “YEET” noise before promptly giving up and downing his own drink as the rest of the room dissolved into fits of laughter. Harry was absolutely dumbstruck and endeared by the way Draco could laugh at himself now and it put Harry at ease in a way he never expected. 

 

That strange night led to the next year of dates for the two of them, as well as regular group dates. Harry was reminiscing fondly as he pulled on his mismatched socks. Draco came back into the bedroom, dressed for their date. “If you don’t hurry up and finish getting dressed Im going to undress you and we wont leave the bedroom all weekend. As much as I’d love that, you seem determined to do this whole formal boyfriend introduction thing. Lets not be late to our own funeral.” Harry laughed at Draco’s slight pout. “After tonight we can spend the rest of the weekend in the bedroom if you’d like.” Harry answered.  
A small groan escaped Draco’s lips but Harry stood up and pulled him towards the flu instead, both bracing themselves for the big “family introduction” that was on the agenda for the night. Draco was not looking forward to spending several hours in a Quidditch box with all of the Weasley family as well as Zabini who was also officially “meeting the parents” at the Quidditch world cup that evening. Promising himself he really wouldn’t let Harry leave the bedroom for the rest of the weekend after tonight, Draco steeled his resolve and followed Harry to the pre arranged portkey.

   
Four—

The reserved box was noisy with the usual Weasley family chatter and it could be heard quite a distance down the hallway. Draco was looking more and more uncomfortable as they approached the door; Harry squeezed his hand reassuringly. “Its going to be fine. You have nothing to worry about.”  
“Easy for you to say. At least when you met Mother it was just the three of us. Im practically walking into a ginger ambush here. Wont even know when to duck.”  
Harry laughed, stopping just in front of the door to the sky box. He pulled Draco closer to the door, and couldn’t help but smile at how nervous he looked. Harry could hardly believe it had been a year. The best year. “I know you’re not really looking forward to this Draco, but it means a lot to me that youre here.” Draco stopped his nervous preening and yanked the smaller wizard into a tight embrace, pressing a soft kiss to his forhead. “Wherever you want me to be is where ill be Potter.”  
Unable to resist, Draco tilted Harry’s chin upwards to capture his lips, quickly forgetting their surrounding as he snogged the daylights out of him. Harry forgot himself as well, as he usually did when it came to Draco, and a strangled noise of wanting escaped his throat against Draco’s lips just as the door swung open.  
Ron’s face was crimson all the way to his ears as he took in the scene in the hallway, complete with a very clear view of Malfoy sliding his hand past the small of Harry’s back to grab his arse. “Oi you two! Youll give me a heart attack one day. How would you like it if I slobbered all over my wife in front of you?!”  
Breaking apart, both men laughed. Ron had the very unfortunate habit of interrupting the couple accidently frequently. They had lost count of how many times Ron had unintentionally gotten an eyeful by coming through the floo, or around a corner, or through a door unannounced. Draco had decided to give Ron and Pansy both bells for Christmas this year.  
“Weasley Ive been forced to watch you slobber over Granger since 6th year. Youre in no place to discuss offended sensibilities.”  
Ron grinned back at Draco, and Harry couldn’t help but think how odd a sight that would have been a year ago, the two of them joking with each other like this. Harry was more than glad that his best friends had accepted his boyfriend so easily; Hermione had pulled Draco into an immediate hug, which Draco had returned. Ron’s look of shock was quickly replaced by a lopsided grin and an exclamation of owing George 10 galleons now before offering his hand to Draco. Draco had looked more shocked than anyone when the handshake quickly became an awkward hug from Ron and a loud whisper to take care of his best mate or he’d get Ginny to teach him her favorite hex and use it well.  
“Well come on then you two. Ginny and Blaise are getting pretty sick of being the only targets for Mum. She’s already dropping hints about a wedding date.” Ron said with an exaggerated eye roll as he swung the door wide. Harry took Draco’s hand once again and led him into the sky box.  
The room went quiet when Harry and Draco walked in, followed by a smirking Ron. The hush lasted about two seconds before Draco was being pulled away into the gaggle of Weasleys, Molly at the center yanking Draco into a tight hug. “It’s about time! We were starting to think you’d never come round officially!”  
Uncomfortable introductions were skipped entirely as the family absorbed Draco into their midst like he’d always belonged there. Harry wasn’t surprised a bit. The match dragged on with both teams going all out, and the conversation in the sky box became rowdier.  
“Summer weddings are really the best. Ginny would look stunning in a sleeveless dress, don’t you think so Blaise?” Molly simpered at the couple, Ginny looked mostly disgusted and Blaise looked highly amused. “Oh absolutely Mrs. Weasely, I was just saying the same thing last week, wasn’t I darling?” Blaise batted his eyelashes at Ginny, who cuffed him on the back of the head when he started to laugh.  
George and Angelina were arguing about which team was going to pull off the win, growing steadily louder in the corner. Teddy Lupin was playing happily on the floor with an enchanted miniature Quidditch set, complete with little flying players on broomstick when Angelina lost her cool entirely. George was red in the face with laughter as she shrieked at him. “You wouldn’t know a decent chaser if your life depended on it! Stop laughing you absolute tosser!” She stomped her foot, throwing her hands in the air and turning back to the match. George shook his head and turned to Blaise. “Back me up here mate! That wasn’t a brilliant play that was a bi-“ Andromeda cleared her throat and nodded towards Teddy. George edited “Beeotch move by that chaser!” Blaise didn’t answer, he had choked on his drink at George’s censored swear word.  
“What is a beeotch Weasely?” Draco asked, looking both amused and confused. Harry explained since George was too busy coaxing Angelina to stop being angry at him. “Well you take a swear word and change it so it doesn’t sound like a swear word any more. Little ears you know.” Harry said, smiling fondly at Teddy.  
George spun back around, looking all too excited by this opportunity. “You have to pay attention to the context though you see Malfoy. Otherwise it just sounds silly. And it doesn’t work with every swear of course.”  
Draco was looking more and more suspicious at George, but George had turned back to Angelina, who was very worked up over the latest score. “Oh come on!!! How did you let that through? I didn’t know blind people often got chosen as Keepers!”  
Draco snorted as Harry interjected “Even if the keeper wasn’t blind that would have still gotten through Angelina, your teams defense is non existant.”  
“Eat a dick Potter, what do you know about defense?” Angelina forgot the little ears in the room but Draco didn’t as he casually shot back “This dieeoack is available Harry.” Dead silence preceded the room exploding into laughter. George high fived Draco, Hermione blushed profusely and Ron looked like he was torn between having his sensibilities offended once again before he muttered “Please no, I do not need to see that again.”  
Harry was stunned when Hermione literally fell out of her seat laughing at the look of bemused horror on Ron’s face. He took advantage of the distraction to whisper in Draco’s ear “lets slip out early and I’ll take you up on that.”  
Harry couldn’t remember a time he had been happier.


End file.
